Monday, December 7, 2009

The Discovery of a New Kind of Radiation

Many years ago when the world was young I recall coming home from school to find the following scene. My mother was sitting in an easy chair in a sunny spot in the dining room. Surrounding her, on the floor, were a golden retriever, a dalmatian, and two cats, all curled up like doughnuts, all sound asleep. As was my mother. Stirred into wakefulness by my arrival, my mother said - "I just sat down for a minute - to rest my eyes - and then -"

That's when we discovered Z -rays (or, more technically, Zzzzz-rays), emitted by any sleeping animal, and which can be transmitted to any sufficiently susceptible creature that happens to step into the Z-field (there's a wave-particle duality in operation, as you see). I suspect that the intensity of the Z-field varies by the inverse square law. However, several Z-emitters placed close together seem to exert a synergistic effect such that the strength of the combined Z-field is far more intense than one would expect were each Z-emitter encountered on its own. When my mother stepped into the midst of four very strong Z-emitters - well, basically, she hadn't a hope.

It happened to me, today. The alarm went off at 6.15 whereupon I went back to sleep. I was woken again at 6.45, this time more forcefully, by Crox Minor. I stumbled blearily out of bed, dressed, ironed a school shirt, made school lunchboxes, fed animals and children, saw the latter off to school, and arrived home at 9 o'clock to see a scene rather like this.


Strongly synergistic Z-emitters. Recently.

I sat down, thinking I could shut my eyes, just for a minute, before I made a coffee and logged on to work at 9.30.

Forty winks later, I noticed that it was 10.45...

5 comments:

  1. My postdoctoral mentor swore it was a type of benign tumor, and called it a "napoma". I just slept off a small napoma late this afternoon.

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  2. I suspect there is a wave-particle duality to your Z-waves: in our house the sleeping cats emitted Relaxons, with much the same effects.

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  3. Relaxons. I think relaxons are very closely related to Z radiation. The reason that they have never been discovered in particle accelerators is that they are supermassive, with very high energies. Theory suggests that relaxons have a short half-life and decay into schleptons and a pulse of Z-rays.

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  4. Are there opposite particles to relaxons, as determined by super symmetry? Particles that cause the unwitting target to Get Up and Do Things?

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  5. If there were, they'd be called antirelaxons. But particles that allow you to shut your eyes, just for a moment, are called relaxinos.

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