The task, then, was to measure myself. And so, equipped with a tape measure and those few clothes that still fitted, I discovered that I have a 52" chest, a 48" waist and a 32" inside leg. A frame, indeed, that one might call 'Olympian' (though Crox Minor refers to it in public as 'Gargantuan').
My first visit was to
That's when Mrs Crox suggested Debenhams, a
Mrs Crox pronounces the results satisfactory, though Crox Minor said that I looked like Cobra Bubbles, the secret agent in Lilo and Stitch.
I also bought a couple of shirts. Now, when I go into the office on Monday wearing my swanky new duds, people are sure to ask me whether I'm going to a job interview. "You might say that," I'll respond - "but I could not possibly comment".