Friday, March 27, 2009

John Prescott in 'Bloody Norfolk' Shock Horror Probe

Hot regional news this morning: that the Rt Hon John 'Two Jags' Prescott MP, former Deputy Grime Minibus, who stands in relation to Boris Johnson as Mr Gumby does to Socrates, was rumoured to be thinking of buying a retirement home near Blakeney, here in North Norfolk.

The Rt Hon John Prescott MP, Yesterday.

Mr Prescott moved quickly to scotch the rumour, saying that nothing good had come out of 'bloody Norfolk' since Oliver Cromwell. Oliver Cromwell in fact came from Cambridgeshire. Mr Prescott is 94.


  1. How insulting of him. There's Henry Gee. And, erm, there's, erm, bootiful turkeys. And, erm, well, lots of things. I just can't think of them right now. But there must be.

    Norwich Cathedral's quite nice (though of course, technically that hasn't come out of Norfolk, where Mr Gee does on a regular basis).

  2. I hear there's fixh and shipz. Fish and chips. Sorry.

    I thought the point of moving somewhere nice was that the nice things stayed. Otherwise you have to follow them around. Henry, I'm sure you wouldn't want the Rt Hon following you on the train. Plus it isn't nice to run away from 94-year-olds; they haven't got a chance.

    I'm waiting for our 120-year-old Robert Byrd to start using a Hawkings-style translator on the Senate floor. He's fantastic when intelligible. Unlike Strom, who was pre-embalmed. It's extraordinary, the grip on power. They really do have to be cold and dead.

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  4. Fixh and Shipz. You wuz rite the frxt tym.